Twitter High-Card

As a quick note to anyone who might be reading this in the future, Twitter was something that we did way back in the past to send messages to each other composed of a few score letter entire. It was sort of like a mini-telegraph. Yeah, we were a simple people back then.

But Twitter High-Card. This is a game that I've invented and found it actually makes use of the primary function and purpose of Twitter: marketing. Specifically, taking something innocuous and twisting into a cynical marketing ploy with all the grace and elegance of an oil-covered buzzard trying to steal your wallet.

Remember "High Card"? It's the simpliest game in the world. What you do is draw a card, and hope that it is higher than the card the person you're playing with draws. That's it. If you have the highest card, you win.

OK, now to add the Twitter element. Twitter is used to poach potential consumer-sheep who naively think that Twitter is something which elevates mankind somehow. Whenever you 'tweet' a keyword suggesting you are shopping for something, you start getting 'followed' by marketers on Twitter. Just like you get followed by thugs when you withdraw large sums of money from the ATM.

(For people in the future, "money" was something we had at one time when we had "jobs" that "made things")

So the game is played much the same way as you would with the deck of cards. Only in this case, you put out a tweet, and the person who gathers the most marketing-bot followers wins the game. The strategy is tweeting as many keywords as you can in the Twitter character limit.

For example, you could tweet something like:

"insurance credit cell phone iPod Chevy Pepsi Mastercard"

Actually, if you did that your computer might melt under the torrent of automated marketing hits that you'll generate. Humm. Maybe this game should come with a warning label.